YOU'LL SURVIVE THE INCONVENIENCE.

Hi, it’s Maria!

I feel like people have gotten really bad at being inconvenienced.

A plan changes. The time you wanted isn't available. You have to wait. Someone

tells you no. A policy doesn't perfectly accommodate your situation. And

somehow, a relatively normal inconvenience has started to feel like something

someone else needs to fix.

I love convenience as much as anyone. I want the nonstop flight. I mobile order

my coffee. If there's a way to accomplish something in three steps instead of

seven, I'm choosing three every time. But convenience being nice doesn't mean

we're entitled to it all the time.

Sometimes your life is going to be inconvenienced. And sometimes nobody did

anything wrong.

Something can be inconvenient for you without being unfair to you. You can

dislike the answer without deserving a different one. You can be asked to adjust

without being wronged.

Owning BARE has made me see this from both sides. There are plenty of days

when I have an entire day planned and one phone call changes it. Someone

needs me. Something breaks. A conversation needs to happen. I've rearranged

plans and handled things on days when I would've much rather done absolutely

anything else.

Do I love that every time? Absolutely not.

But I chose to build something that other people depend on.

And dependence is inconvenient sometimes.

I can't say I want to build a business, lead a team, create a community, have

meaningful relationships, be a good friend, show up for my family, and then

expect all of those things to exist neatly within the hours that are most

convenient for me.That's the price of being connected to anything outside of yourself.

We've become really good at asking, question has to be, "Does this work for me?" But sometimes the "What works for everyone involved?"

And sometimes the answer will be slightly less convenient for you.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people move through life like everything is

happening to them. The whole world is not against you. Most of the time, the

thing inconveniencing you has absolutely nothing to do with you personally.

I didn't create a late cancel policy because I hate you. Your hairstylist isn't

charging you when you don't show up because she has a personal vendetta

against you. Those policies exist because someone's time, work, and livelihood

exist on the other side of your decision.

But this isn't really about cancellation policies.

It's the friend who asks if you can meet closer to her because she's had a horrible

week. The family dinner that starts later than you'd prefer because that's when

everyone can get there. The partner who asks you to do the one chore you

genuinely could not care less about. The coworker whose schedule means the

meeting has to happen at a time you wouldn't have picked. The person in front

of you at the grocery store who is moving at a speed that feels personally

offensive when you're already running late.

None of these things are particularly serious. That's kind of the point.

Not everything that makes your day slightly harder is being done to you.

Sometimes another person simply has needs, preferences, responsibilities, and a

life that exists completely independently of yours.

And I think that's easy to forget. We've gotten very comfortable thinking about what other people owe us and much less comfortable thinking about what we owe other people. We want people to respect our time, understand our circumstances, accommodate our

schedules, honor our boundaries, and give us grace. All fair.

But other people get to want those things too.

Your time matters. So does theirs.

I see it in my own life constantly. I've rearranged plans. Driven farther. Stayed

longer. Changed my schedule. Done the laundry when I didn't want to because

my partner likes when I don't leave my clothes in the dryer forever, even though

I genuinely wouldn't care if they stayed there forever. Sorry, Steven.

And I'm sure the people who love me have done the same.

That's friendship. That's family. That's partnership. That's community. None of

those things work if everyone involved is constantly optimizing for themselves.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that almost everything meaningful

in my life has asked me to adjust at some point. Building BARE has required

flexibility. Friendships have required compromise. Relationships have required

showing up when it wasn't easy. Growth has definitely asked me to stretch

beyond what was comfortable.

Convenience and value are not the same thing.

The easiest option isn't always the best option. Something requiring more from

you doesn't automatically mean it's asking too much. Sometimes it just means it

matters.

We've gotten very good at protecting our time, protecting our peace, setting

boundaries, and making sure we're not giving too much of ourselves away. There

is a lot of good in that.

But there is a point where protecting yourself from every inconvenience starts

protecting you from the very things that make life feel full.

People are inconvenient. Community is inconvenient. Commitment is

inconvenient. Caring is inconvenient.

Because the second you care about something other than yourself, your

preferences stop being the only ones in the room.Being willing to be inconvenienced every once in a while isn't about having no boundaries or letting the world walk all over you. It's recognizing that sometimes being a good friend, a good partner, a good leader, a good client, a good neighbor, or simply a considerate person means you are the one who adjusts.

Not every time, of course. But sometimes.

Sometimes you drive across town. Sometimes you take the later appointment.

Sometimes you honor the commitment even though something more fun came

up. Sometimes you wait. Sometimes you don't get the exception.

Sometimes someone else's needs get to matter too.

I don't want a life where I'm constantly inconvenienced for everyone around me.

But I also don't want a life so carefully optimized around myself that nobody and

nothing is ever allowed to inconvenience me.

Because that wouldn't be freedom.

It would just be isolation with really efficient scheduling.

A full life is going to interrupt you sometimes. The people you love are going to

need you at inconvenient times. The things you build are going to require more

than you planned to give. Being part of something bigger than yourself is

occasionally going to mean that you don't get your first choice.

So yes, sometimes your plans will change. Sometimes you'll have to wait.

Sometimes you'll have to compromise. Sometimes you'll be the one who has to

make it work.

You'll survive the inconvenience.

Sometimes the world doesn't need to adjust. You do.

From my core to yours,

Maria Stege

Founder & CEO, BARE Pilates Studio

…and that’s The Naked Truth.